Letters to Arthur Kirkland
by AnaTheAwesome
Summary: Arthur needs your feedback! T just in case...
1. Introduction of sorts?

**(A/N: I kinda wanted to do something different, but I was inspired stories on here to do a somewhat like Letter Meme, Arthur Style. So here we go. I do not own Hetalia and I don't own the idea of this type of story. )**

* * *

Ah... Ahem. If you are to be reading this, It is the great Brittannia! Arthur Kirkland.

...Please do not think I am copying Alfred. I merely wanted to know what people feel like saying to me. I don't care what you send me, as long as you leave your name. And as long as its not too bad, cussing wise and Perverted wise.

France.

Countries, humans, or anything else may write to me. Even if its at least one person, I'll reply.

So, uh...BLOODY REVIEW! Please?

* * *

**(A/N: Yeah... Its pretty short. Prologue? Do what the great Britannia says!**

**-Ana)**


	2. Oh Bloody Hell

**(A/N: First day and First Review! YAY! XD Yes, imma going to write this now, because of my lack of a life. KIDDING. )**

[Ah! Mr. Kirkland. I've been looking for you. Why is every European visiting me saying "Konnichiwa" as a greeting? And Japan made me starve back in 1944-1945. Or were you too busy with ALFRED to remember what was happening? (Power-hungry fool.. put "Agent Orange" all over my flourishing rice paddies and now it's STILL affecting me..)

Anyway, many of my citizens are learning English and speaking it quite fluently, I must add. Could you be a bit more considerate of us and teach your citizens ...nevermind. We were never important to you in the first place..

Well, unlike Londoners, we've got to get up early and go to work. I guess I'll see you after the G20 meeting, then.

-Vietnam]

A very...Uh...NICE letter...

[To Vietnam

Because we thought you spoke Japanese... Aha. He did? Why the bloody hell do I care? Alfred? How was I busy with him, the prat. ...A-Agent Orange. Dunno if I know what that is...

Thats great! Some of MY wonderful language going around the world makes me feel great. Because I am, of course. Considerate? I HAVE been considerate! Teah you what? No, All my colonies are important. I think.

...I DO wake up early! Sometimes... Is that all?

Not like I even have time to do this, I HAVE to MAKE time, Vietnam. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't care what other people have to say. Bloody Hell.

-Arthur]

[Dear Arthur,

It will be my birthday in 20 days. I would very much like it if you could show  
up on the first of July, and not the first of October, like last year. I  
understand that you may be upset since a certain loudmouthed sibling of mine's  
birthday is a few days after mine, but please try to do this; even if it's  
just this once.

Sincerely,

Matthew Williams (Canada, you know the one you took from Francis.)

Ps, Please do not let Francis bring me anything and I do mean anything.]

...I did? I thought that was his birthday!

[Dear Matthew,

It will? I thought it was... Never mind. I will not forget. I swear. Maybe.

-Arthur (I didn't take you, I won you. All fair in love and war.) ]

[IS IT REALLY ARTHUR! *faints*

HE'S LIKE THE HOTTEST GUY EVER AND HE IS SO COOL! EVERY ENGLISH CHILD WANTS TO  
BE LIKE HIM!

Your so ultra mega super cool that France and America are jealous. Oh by the  
way, This country is getting influenced to much by America, I can spell  
MacDonald's from my school T,.T

From, Random Londoner who loves you]

Thank god! A normal person!

[To London citizen,

THANK THE QUEEN ELIZABETH THE FIRST! Someone normal! Oh thank you, I take all of those wonderful comments about myself to heart.

I know, I know. They both hate me because of- What? I-I'm getting influenced by AMERICA? Outrageous, I-

... I'VE GOT TO PUT A STOP TO THAT!

Now where's my spell books...?

-Arthur]

[Hi grandpa! it's me, Gregory, you know, the state of Georgia? Anyway, I was  
wondering if you were going to visit soon. You haven't been here for awhile.

~Gregory K. Jones (Georgia)

P.S: I sent you some peaches, enjoy!]

Oh great...

[Dear Gregory,

Well... I uh... Don't know? Thank you for the fruit?

-Arthur]

[England, why did you run away yesterday? I only wanted to show you my whip  
collection. Anyway, care to go out for dinner tomorrow night?

-France]

O-Oh...Fuck.

[France,

P-Precisely t-the fact it was a Whip collection... I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DO SOMETHING BAD TO ME, NO BLOODY DOUBT ABOUT IT! ...I-I...uh... I'll have to get b-back t-to you...

-Arthur]

[Like omg! Hi England. I, like, haven't talked to you for a few days now. How  
are you? Have you gotten France off of your back yet? He is totally annoying.

~Feliks]

[Feliks,

Hello. I know, I seems that we haven't talked since the last UN Meeting. I'm perfectly fine, actually. No, I think he's still trying to... You know. I HATE HIM.

-Arthur]

[Dear Arthur,

I am your evil twin!]

Hm. This one seems to be unsigned...

[To ?

What?

Thats impossible. Clearly impossible.

-Arthur]

Well...That was a very NICE experience. I hope to hear from everyone again... Ahe...If you'll excuse, I'm going to go take a very hot bath to rest my sorrows...


	3. Girlhips

**(A/N: Yay! I'm glad that England and America tied! Anyways, let's get down answering the reviews! -Ana)**

...This is getting a lot more tedious, I couldn't believe the nerve of some of these people.

_[Arthur,_

I love your country and the history it has! *cough* even if the food isn't  
great *cough* KIDNAP ME FROM THE US PLEAAASEE! D: There's too many fatty foods  
over here, the people are complete jerks, AND NO DR. WHO UNLESS YOU HAVE  
EXPENSIVE CABLE.

I..I'd wake up and make you breakfast every day and you can teach me how to  
make proper tea and speak proper English too!

Best wishes,

Lindsey.]

Ms. Lindsey,

Ahem. Thank you-What was the cough for? Hn. ...I don't want to kidnap you, that is against the law for a human AND country. Thank-you for noticing! I keep on trying to tell Alfred that his food is going to kill some people, but he never fucking listens! Dr. Who is a very great show indeed, I was watching the last one with some friends and my supierior. We all loved it.

I would love to. Most of you Americans can hardly speak the language anyway.

God bless the Queen.

Ugh.

_[Dear Arthur_

I am a huge fan~! TOTAL IGGY FANGRL~!

Ahem, excuse me I got a little carried away won't happen again!

Anyway how's Sealand? i don't know why I'm asking just curious i guess... but  
what I don't get is why people think you're talking to yourself most of the  
time. You are clearly talking to a fairy or unicorn! Your unicorn is so cute  
by the way~! But apparently the other country's don't have the brain capacity  
to see them! I too am interested in magic and it would be an HONER to be your  
apprentice! Well mail you soon~! Please reply~!

Sincerely

Delanie Blomquist

P.S: MY NAME IS IRISH~! YAY~! UK NAME!]

Ms. Blomquist,

I-I knew I had fans, but fan girls too? Actually, I knew that.

It's quite fine.

Sealand? That little bastard of a brother is... How the Bloody Hell should I know? It's not like I care or even want to know anyways. Of course I'm not talking to myself! Who the Hell else would I be talking to? Prince Jeffrey Jr. The III in a Half IS a cute unicorn, isn't he?

Its not that I'm trying to make offense, but it's their fowl brains that are causing their inability to see these wonderful creatures, it's their hearts. Their hearts aren't pure enough to see them you see.

I couldn't just apprentice you in the easiest of ways; you would have to have a test.

Someone shoot me now.

_[Brother~! Hello, it's Nova Scotia, you know, yours and Canada's  
territory?(Which technically makes me your child, but I prefer treating you as  
a sibling.) Anyways, how've you been? Have you been getting any sun lately?  
Because I know it rains a lot over there...also, is __France__ still giving you  
trouble? He's such a bloody perv...he tried to hit on me once, and do you know  
what I did? I kicked him. Hard. In the vital regions. Bastard didn't dare  
approach me for two weeks, hehehe...and how are you faring with the whole  
economy crisis? I know it's sort of America's fault, but don't put the blame  
completely on him! I'm sure he didn't know his economy (and everyone else's, as  
a result) was going to crash like that! I mean, how could he know? *Sigh...*  
Well, I suppose that's all I have for today. I'll talk to you again soon,  
brother~!_

Nova Scotia-OXOXOXOXO]

Nova Scotia,

'Ello, I understand that. I don't think of you as my child anyway-Did you just call Canada my child? JUST. FUCKING. PEACHY. That's quite all right, if I did get sun, I would just get burned anyways. The rain is very...calming.

Yes he has- What? H-He tried t-to hit on you? That's good, moving on.

Why can't I? IT'S COMPLETLY HIS FAULT! I don't care if he knew or not, he caused it and I'm not tolerating it!

Bye.

_[Dear Arthur.__ENGLAND__ WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO BEAT AMERICA'S ARSE TODAY IN THE FOOTIE,  
right Arthur! Because we all know, the England team sucks. But not as bad as  
America!__British Steel__' (which is by the awesome __Judas Priest__).  
Maybe I'm too young to get into gambling.. But last year I bet 5 quid that  
__Italy__ would win right at the start and I WAS SO RIGHT!__soya milk__. This is tragic! Am I right...__Yours Faithfully_

Yes the deranged fan girl is back! I have decided to stalk you now! *insert  
evil face*

MWUAHAHHAHA

I had a curry for dinner last night: 3

GO

But seriously, we have to win. I have £50 on this match. I was planning on  
spending that money on '

I rule, thanks to you! Yes England is the bomb!

Maybe we should get rid of the bombs though...

A terrible crime as occurred! I am allergic to milk, meaning no more milk in  
my tea.

Either black or

But feel for me, no tea, no crumpets for breakfast and NO SCONES T.T

Yes, I feel like moaning to you.

Anyway, I think my toast is burning.

Oh my, do you like bacon sandwiches! I do! Yummy

and porridge, I, love porridge and spouts! WHY DO PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT THEM,  
THEY RULE!

Do you like them D

Iggystalker]

...Oh... How...Pleasant. Thank you so much. Aha, I was being completely sarcastic.

I tried and we FUCKING TIED. Could you believe that Shit? How we have tried as hard as we possibly could and STILL lost to AMERICA?

ALFRED ISN'T THAT GOOD AT SPORTS! GODDAMNIT.

Ahem. I'm fine with it though. Completely fine with it. I really hope you didn't need that money.

No milk in your tea? You poor thing. I have milk in my tea every time I have it. Although, not too much. You've got to balance out the Milk with your Sugar.

N-No Crumpets or Scones? That's terrible! Certainly there's something you can do about that, right?

Porridge and Spouts is very good, yes.

I'm sorry about your dilemma.

_[Dear Great Britain__France__ have a thing  
going on? Plus, out of curiosity, have you ever once thought about eating  
__McDonald's__? ...Or have you already?]_

Is it true that you have girl hips? And is it true you and

...What. The. Hell. What? NO THAT IS CERTAINLY NOT TRUE! Why the bloody hell would you ask about my hips?

M-Me and F-France? Never!

...NO! Who the hell are you? God.

I'm done with this today. UGH!

X


End file.
